Question

I've been asking questions of others who have gotten jobs in career path fields in order to pass ur time at work. Ususally, the answers are short--maybe a paragraph--but when I asked Best Western Bryan how he thought life would be different if "werewolves existed," he sent me this electronic missive in reply. (To everyone else that I haevn't asked this question of that just means you probably do not need respite from your working life nearly as much as everyone else.)

Bryan’s Hilarious Answer

Before I answer this question I just want to talk about Borat. I don't know if you've read anything lately about him, but the khazackstanian president is pissed off about how Borat is portraying the country. So they have been putting out advertisements in America saying how Khazcakstan is known for Gleaming hotels and the region's best pastrami sandwiches, cash machines and the planet's largest population of wolves.

Anyways, after the president put these ads out, Borat announced that they were all false claims. He reportedly said "Recent advertisements in television and in media about my nation of Kazakhstan saying that women are treated equally and that all religions are tolerated. These are disgusting barications. These claims are part of a propaganda campaign against our country by evil nitwits Uzbekistan,"

Anyways, the president wants an apology from Bush, which i think is really funny because Sascha Cohen (Borat) is Brititsh.

But honestly how claims they have the largest population of wolves. That’s real good marketing for tourism. Come visit Khazacatzan....under 1000 deaths a year by wolves!!.

If werewolves actually existed. I think the first time humanity realized it, shit would hit the fan. Lots of people would die during that first full moon. However, we would put up a good fight and most importantly, we would learn.

Right away the first thing you and most people would think to do is wipe out the werewolve population. However, our country and especially our state is filled with liberal hippies filled with emotions. God damn hippies.

Sure, during a full moon, the werewolves are going to go crazy and run a muck in the city. But that is only 1 night a month. These werewolves are for the most part probably normal people during those other 29 days. Those werewolves are someone’s mother, someone’s boss, someone’s favorite baseball player. It wouldn't seem right to just kill them off. All the environmentalists would have a field day as well, because they would most likely be classified as endangered species.

By law, we would have to co-exist with the werewolves. There would probably be a lock down during a full moon, in which all registered werewolves must lock themselves in some kind of confined area (perhaps with other werewolves) and for safety reasons, everyone would have a curfew and have to stay home.

Unfortunately, sub-groups of pro werewolf life protesters, werewolves, anti-werewolves protestors etc would exist. Many of these groups would exist legally but do unlawful acts, much like the black guerrillas or the KKK. A new breed of hatred and "wolfism" would be born. There would be factions of good and bad werewolves. Those who feel they should have the freedom to do what they want, and there would be those who are concerned for the safety of themselves as well as there family. There would also be groups of people that would refer to themselves as purebloods and would be out to make werewolves lives miserable, even when said werewolves are in human form.

For example, you might be a teenwolf, and everyone knows about you at school, because the law says you must register as a werewolf if you are one, much like Megan’s Law, and this kid would get picked on and maybe even beat up by other kids (try and picture American History X) And as long as the wolves stay a minority, that is how they will be treated.

However one day, certain werewolves, much like the one who got beat up in school will join with other werewolves and set out to destroy the human race. But what they do not understand is that they need us humans to survive.

Anyways, of course there will be a rogue half blood of sometime who spends his days and nights fighting off the evil werewolves as well as the evil humans and try to convince the world to live with one another in happiness. The reason behind his motivations are simple. His mother was a werewolf and his father a pureblood. However, his father was so embarrassed and humiliated when he found out his wife was a werewolf that he killed his wife and then took his own life all right in front of him.

This unknown rogue hero will walk the streets thanklessly and do whatever it takes to try and fix the mistakes of the past so that no one else in this world will have to go through what he did.